BROTHERS//
Noah was so excited to meet his baby brother! He really, really loves babies! My family brought him to the hospital to meet Oliver the morning after he was born. He said he was "so cute" and liked meeting him. It was such a special moment for us.
Of course that excitement didn't last too long. After a little while he seemed to maybe be having some jealousy. There were a few weeks where he just seemed to be having a rough time, MAJOR tantrums and acting out, mental breakdowns (where he just cries for a long period of time for no reason). He usually does these things already but they were much more frequent and more intense. It was hard.
He also seemed a bit indifferent towards Oliver most of the time and then sometimes would be rough with him. He didn't want to hold him as much as I thought he would have. There were a handful of times where he caused baby some harm - including the time where he kicked him in the head after Oliver got out of the bath...... so sad!
However, I've noticed that the last little while (now in October) Noah has been really warming up to Oliver. He seems to want to cuddle with him and hold him more often. He likes to talk to him and comfort him. I think this will increase even more as Oliver gets older and more able to do things. Every time Oliver cries, Noah starts singing, "Hush little baby don't say a word, daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird..."
EMOTIONS//
The dreaded baby blues hit me the second day home from the hospital. I felt sad. The first two nights with Oliver were exhausting and I think it hit me like, this is going to be so hard. It sucks to feel those feelings because you feel kind of guilty, like I should be so joyous right now, so why do I feel sad?! It's so annoying. I remember that day, Derek had to go somewhere - I can't remember where, but me and Noah were eating lunch together and I just started crying. It reminded me of all the special times we had together, just me and him. Every day, it was always just me and him, for the last two years. Something as simple as having lunch together just the two of us was suddenly so special to me. And now things would never be the same. Even though we loved Oliver, it was just different and it made me very emotional. It's funny though, looking back now, I remember those feelings but I don't feel that way anymore. It feels completely normal to have both Noah and Oliver home with me now. Those baby blues really only lasted a few days - and then I started to feel good. I think Noah is used to life with Oliver now too.
While at the hospital I didn't get to see Noah as much as I normally do, and once I came home I was with Oliver A LOT. So Derek and Noah were suddenly together all the time. Noah was already a bit of a daddy's boy but I think this really nailed that in. Derek was the one putting Noah down for bed each night. I remember one of the first few nights home, I just felt like I missed him. And all I wanted was to read him some books and put him to sleep. More tears.
I encapsulated my placenta, and started taking them about 4 or 5 days after I gave birth. I do feel like they helped me have more energy and helped my emotions get back to normal much faster.
ADJUSTING//
I think the hardest thing in the beginning was feeling bad for Noah. I spent so much time nursing Oliver and it was hard to not feel sorry for Noah. He was so bored and probably wondering why I was spending so much time with Oliver and not much time with him. Derek also started his LSAT prep class shortly after Ollie was born so Mon & Wed nights I was now by myself and it was very hard to do bedtime for Noah if Oliver needed me.
We slowly adjusted and I remember at one month post pardon already feeling like we were doing okay. Things were starting to get easier.
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