Here is Oliver's birth story:
Well, we had made it into June and I couldn't believe our baby boy hadn't arrived yet. I know it's silly and you really never know when your baby will be born, but I predicted that he would be born in May, and actually before May 30th. Since I was due on the 20th originally, I just couldn't see us going past the 30th. And of course I had heard about women going 2 weeks past their "due date" but I just thought I'd go early. I was wrong. Now I really know, you really just don't know!
To back up a little, on my 40 week appointment (which was 2 days shy of my actual due date), I was still at 1 cm dilated but my cervix was thinning she said and baby was engaged. I had another appointment a few days later, on June 1st. Midwife said "you're ready to go!" She predicted that day or the next day. I was happy! The anticipation was killing me. Since we had planned a natural birth, I was so anxious to just experience it already and put to action everything I had been practicing for months. To be honest, I was scared. I was scared of not being able to cope with the pain... yes I feared the pain, but I mostly I feared giving up and getting an epidural. And I didn't want an epidural! So I just wanted to go through with it already!
Our baby didn't come that day, nor the next day. The last few weeks, we had done many things as a family to 1. try to keep busy and distracted to help the anticipation and 2. to enjoy the last times we would be together just the three of us. So that week we kept at it, we went to temple square with Noah, we all went out to eat at Cheesecake Factory with Jared and Lorin and Derek and I had some relaxed movie nights.
It was now Wednesday, June 3rd. Noah and I went to the downtown SLC library that day. The past few days I had been having some mild contractions (at least that's what I thought they were... you'd think I would know for sure since this was my second baby) but nothing big. I was just getting over a bad cold (which happened at 39 weeks with my first pregnancy too!) and just hadn't been feeling very good that week.
As we were eating dinner that evening, close to 6:00, those tight contraction feelings started getting more frequent. Then they started getting stronger. I thought, okay good, we're making progress. Derek has Young Men's on Wednesday nights, so we thought it would be okay for him to still go. I didn't know if this was for sure labor, or just very early labor or just more practice contractions or what. Since my early labor with Noah lasted a whole day, I figured it would be similar this time. I didn't want to get my hopes up and thought I'd see how the next hour went. We needed to fill up our water jugs so Derek thought he'd leave a bit early, run to the store before Young Men's to fill up water, then go straight to the church. He left around 6:30. Just shortly after he left I thought, this is definitely labor!
I started getting Noah ready for bed, put his pajamas on and started reading books. My surges started feeling really intense already and I could barely do anything with Noah anymore. I called Derek, I think it was only around 7:15, so he had just barely got to Young Men's. I told him that I think he should come home because these waves are pretty intense!
He came home and took over putting Noah down. That usually takes a while! So I just went on my bed by myself, on my hands and knees, and put on my hypnobirthing scripts. I called my aunt Sarahi, who was my doula and told her I was in labor. I told her I was just going to try to relax, maybe rest if I could. However, things were escalating so fast, only a few minutes later I called her back and said she should probably just come over. I actually started getting emotional, because I felt like this was already so intense and I thought I was just in the beginning. I already started doubting myself. She said she would be over soon. At this point I thought I should start timing my surges to see how close together they actually were and how long they were. Our goal was to stay at home until they were about 2-3 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute long, for at least an hour straight. We used an app to start timing.
I got in the shower. The hot water felt okay, but it wasn't soothing as much as I wanted it to. I thought maybe it was because I was standing, and when a contraction came it didn't feel good to stand. So I switched it up to a bath. Derek was still with Noah, who was just not going to sleep! So it made it very difficult for me to time my own contractions - while in the shower. Sarahi got there while I was in the bath, she helped with the timing part. I thought the bath would be better since I was laying down. Laying down didn't feel good. I tried sitting, bending over the tub. That didn't feel good.
We were only timing for maybe 30-40 minutes when something happened with the app and it got reset! I was so mad. So we had to start over. But it seemed like they were already 2-3 minutes apart and were lasting close to a minute long sometimes... I was confused, how were they already to that point when I just started laboring not too long ago?! I wish I was better at keeping track of time during labor... so I really don't know what time it was at this point. It is such a blur, I hope I'm remembering everything right. I feel like time just disappears when you're in labor. I'm thinking it was around 9:00 maybe when I was ready to get out of the bath.
I just couldn't believe that I was hurting this much already! I'm not going to sugarcoat anything here, this is my blog and I'm being honest in how I felt. According to everything I learned in my hypnobirthing class, it's not technically PAIN, but it felt VERY PAINFUL to me! I was extremely vocal during my surges, being quiet did not feel good. I couldn't keep it in. I was practicing my breathing in between waves but during them it felt better to make noise.
We got out of the bath, and I couldn't even brush my hair or get ready. I could barely put some clothes on. Noah was finally asleep, so Derek was able to join us. I tried to sit on my birthing ball, and move my hips around. That didn't help. I tried just leaning over my birthing ball, that didn't help. I tried hands and knees again, no help. Again, I'm going to be honest here, I felt like Derek and Sarahi weren't really helping me (sorry guys). They were kind of sitting there watching me and asking me questions. I was probably not the nicest (again, I'm sorry!).. but I finally said "PLEASE HELP ME! YOU'RE NOT HELPING ME! DO SOMETHING!". I was just frustrated that they were asking me questions instead of just DOING stuff that we had practiced. I wasn't in a position to talk or answer questions, I was dying here (in no way am I being dramatic, this is how I really felt!). I think they were both just overwhelmed and didn't really know what to do. And maybe they were a little scared of me, haha. Bless their hearts.
So Derek and Sarahi did start trying different things, like putting pressure on my back, massaging my head, but honestly nothing felt good. The pain was getting so bad, and nothing was making it feel better. I couldn't focus on my scripts at all. All I could think about was how bad I was hurting and how I couldn't get comfortable in any position.
After a little while of trying all of this in my living room I started really breaking down. I was crying and felt like I just couldn't do it anymore. I had never experienced this kind of pain in my life. I told Derek that we needed to get to the hospital and I just wanted an epidural.
The problem we faced was that we couldn't leave Noah asleep by himself and we planned for Jared to come over. But Jared wasn't going to be able to get to our house until 10:30 at the earliest - it was around 10:00 I think. I told Derek I couldn't wait until 10:30, I needed to go NOW! I even thought that I started to feel some pressure down there. I said, actually I don't even think we can make it, we might need to call an ambulance! Which didn't really make much sense, it would be just as fast to drive ourselves to the hospital. I just really, really, really did NOT want to get in that car and deal with that car ride. Again, I thought I was going to die. We decided Sarahi should stay until Jared arrived at our place. Derek assured me that we would make it to the hospital and it would be less than 10 minutes. I finally was able to actually get in the car and we were on our way. Worst. Car. Ride. Ever!!!!! I just remember looking at Derek and feeling like I was literally dying. And I felt like he just had NO IDEA how bad this hurt.
We got to LDS Hospital. I told him to just drop me off at the door so he could go park. I walked into the front doors by myself and told them I was in labor and needed an epidural NOW! They insisted that I sit down in this wheelchair and they'd take me upstairs. I did not want to sit down in a wheelchair, sitting did not feel good. So I just started on my way up the elevator and Derek had caught up with us.
When I got up to Labor and Delivery, again the nurses tried to get me to sit in the wheelchair. I kept telling them, I'm NOT sitting in that wheelchair! I was feeling so much pressure down low! I just kept demanding an epidural and was wondering why I didn't have one already. They said they needed to get me in the room to check me. I had bought this beautiful birthing gown to wear (I was also supposed to have my friend come and take pictures, but everything just went so fast!) but I didn't even care about it at this point, we just threw it on halfway.
They finally were able to get me down so they could check my progress. 9 CM! I couldn't believe it! No wonder I was dying on the way over here, I was in transition! And No wonder I couldn't sit down in a wheelchair, haha. They told me that I wouldn't need an epidural because this baby was about to come out! They didn't really deny me one but they kind of kept me going along so that it would be too late I think. They knew I wanted a natural birth from my birth plan. My midwife wasn't there, it was a different one that I had met before though, Lupe. But that was fine, I was never super attached to my midwife and knew there would be a good chance that one of the other one's would be there. We had two midwives there and a couple nurses and they were all great!
Sarahi got there just in time. I quickly felt like I needed to push. For some reason I remember them not wanting me to push but I kept saying, I need to push! I was still on the bed from when they checked me but I was on my side. Not at all how I wanted to deliver my baby, but I couldn't even move to get in a better position. I was shaking so much (I had the shakes with Noah too) that my legs wouldn't even stay open, plus being on my side just wasn't working.
I had a brief moment of thinking rational and decided I needed to move into a better birthing position, I knew that giving birth on your back usually isn't the best position. I somehow managed to quickly move into more of a squatting position on the bed. I felt more in control now and like I could push better this way.
I started pushing when I felt the urge to. But I really disliked that feeling. They quickly said, "He's right there!" So I thought he was like right there and I could just push him out with my next push. But they were saying that for like 5 minutes! I think they meant they could see him, but he wasn't crowing yet. After a few minutes, he was ACTUALLY right there and I just remember I hated this part so bad. The whole pushing thing. I was scared to push because it hurt. So I was holding back a little. I was basically a mess at this point, screaming my head off. I also felt like I was going to faint, which made it way harder. I kept saying, "I'm going to pass out! I'm going to pass out!" I was feeling super light-headed from the pain.
I finally thought, I just want this to be over so bad - oh wait, then why am I holding back! I stopped holding back and just gave it my all and he was immediately out! It was the BIGGEST RELIEF of my life! The pain was over! My baby was here in my arms! My whole labor experience was so different from Noah's labor but especially this part. I felt like I had worked so hard and suffered so much and the reward was perfect and beautiful!
I do have to say the feeling of him coming out was so weird. It felt like I just pushed out an octopus! Also, you think the pain is over until they remind you that they have to push on your abdomen every few minutes - ugh, ouch! You're like, okay my baby is already here, why am I still having to feel this pain!! Haha.
The next hour and a half I was able to hold my new and precious baby on my chest, skin to skin, and without anyone taking him away from me. It was amazing. We had our first nursing session which actually went okay. I am so happy and grateful that they allow this "golden hour" now, and also that I educated myself on this and requested it. We delayed his cord clamping also.
We're lucky we went to the hospital when we did. Oliver was only born about 20 minutes after arriving to LDS hospital. It all went very, very fast. I'm also grateful that I can push my small babies out with only a few pushes. I cannot imagine going through that for a couple of hours. I remember that night I couldn't even sleep because I still couldn't believe that I just did that. It was so surreal. I kept thinking, did that really just happen!!?
My labor was about 5 hours from start to finish. I didn't really have much of an early labor this time, within an hour of starting I was already right into active labor. It was completely different from my labor with Noah. With Noah, I started early labor while I was sleeping, and labored all day at work, and into our evening at home. We went to the hospital around 9 pm when it was really bad and found out I was only at 3 cm! And then Noah wasn't born until 3 am. So this time it really took me by surprise when it was so fast and when I got to the hospital so far along. It was overwhelming but at the same time I'm grateful it was fast. I also had an epidural with Noah and didn't feel a thing past 5-6 cm.
I'm grateful for Derek and Sarahi for supporting me through this. And for Jared and Lorin for staying at our place that night and bringing Noah to the hospital the next morning.
The next day we struggled with his name of course. We wrote out our list on the board in the room - Calvin, Beckham, Callaghan, Lou/Louie... I think that was it. We were looking at these names and we just didn't really like any of them! Haha, at least not enough to name our child. We wanted something we LOVED, just like we loved the name Noah. Derek said, "What about the name, Oliver?" to which I responded, "You know I love the name Oliver but it's getting pretty popular..." Because it is. I wanted something that's not trending, and that you wouldn't see on a baby name list. But I took a look at our new baby and thought, okay he REALLY looks like an Oliver! So I didn't know what to do because I really loved the name and we thought it would sound really good with Jay as a middle name. Jay is my brother Hugh's first name, and it's also Derek's brother Dustin's middle name. Plus all of my siblings start with the letter "J" so we thought it was perfect.
I was talking to Jared on the phone and he said that we should just use that name. He said it's better to pick a name that you love. I thought about it and decided he was right. It's obviously better to choose a name that you truly love rather than just settling with one of these other names that we just thought were "okay"(... they're great names for whoever has them!). And especially when the name just seemed to suit him so well. SO, right before we left the hospital we named him Oliver Jay Finch! And I haven't look back - I love it! Yes, a few people have pointed out that his initials are OJ.. well I really don't care. His generation won't even know who OJ was, and it's not like we're going to call him that. We sometimes call him Ollie, but lately I feel like calling him Blue, because of his eyes!
So, yup, Oliver had blue eyes at birth. Which was quite different for us, Noah's were always dark brown. So we're not sure what Oliver's will end up being. His skin was and is much lighter than Noah's, he looks completely white with no hispanic mix at all. And his hair was lighter than Noah's too. They look very different from each other I think, which was not expected.
We love you little Oliver! Thank you for joining our family :)
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